Stupid Questions #3: Self-Report

I'm hoping to get on at some point today and post something substantive, but in the meantime, here's my newest stupid question, asked by one of the dimmer people I know: myself.

I called my sister on her cell phone, having left her a message earlier. 

My Sis: I'm sorry I didn't call you back. I went off and left my phone in one of the company cars.

Me: Did you get it back?

My Sis: Get what back?

Me: [light dawning]. The phone you're talking to me on.

Stupid Questions, pt 2 in an ongoing series

Maybe it was more like just a clueless conversation than a truly stupid question.

It was a hot day and I was tooling around in the little convertible, so I stopped at Sonic for a cold drink. To be specific, a milkshake. Sonic has more than the usual number of flavor choices. I looked over the list, only to see that my favorite, peanut butter & hot fudge, was no longer on the menu. Neither was peanut butter by itself on the menu, though hot fudge was still one of the options.

I hit the call button and was asked how they could help me today.

Me: You don’t have peanut butter hot-fudge shakes any more?
Sonic Voice: No, they discontinued that flavor.
Me: [very disappointed] Oh.
SV: [cheerily] I could make you a hot fudge shake!
Me: [still thinking, saying nothing]
SV: Or a peanut butter shake.
Me: [thinking to myself, "But peanut butter isn’t even on the list any more." But saying to the intercom:] Ummm. Could you mix a peanut butter shake with a hot-fudge shake for me?
SV: No, but I could make you a peanut butter shake and put hot fudge in it, if you’d like.
Me: You could?
SV: Yes. [pause] Would you like for me to do that?
Me: Yes, please.

So, be advised: Sonic no longer has peanut butter hot-fudge shakes. But they will put hot fudge in their nonexistent peanut butter shakes for you. Or, if that won’t work, you can probably talk them into putting some peanut butter into a hot fudge shake for you.

Stupid Questions #1

This is my first Stupid Questions post (thus the clever title), in what I hope will become a series.

I am the Queen of Stupid Questions myself, as almost nothing is self-evident to me. I am not talking about obvious, run-of-the-mill stupid questions. A really good Stupid Question sometimes takes a moment to recognize. It makes the askee squint his eyes and cock his head the way a Labrador Retriever does when you are holding food in your hand and talking in a high-pitched, squeaky voice.

Following are a couple of my all-time favorite Stupid Questions (that were actually asked of me). I will not even attempt to give any of the answers that have occurred to me over the years. I'll let you entertain yourself by coming up with your own answers.

From a restaurant hostess: "Are you waiting for someone who's already here?"

From a co-worker: "Do you live at home?"

And one that a friend, who owns an antique and art shop, told me over the weekend.

A customer came to the cash register, holding aloft an old-fashioned biscuit cutter (which, for those who don't know, is a lot like a very simple cookie cutter), and asked, "Does this work?"

If you have a great Stupid Question story, feel free to post it in the comments section or e-mail it to me and I'll post it for you.