So we went out to dinner for my nephew's birthday the other night, and my mother... (wait, I should say, my 85-year-old mother who has a serious chronic heart condition)...says to me, "Well, I got bad news today." My mind instantly went to the worst possibilities, but I remained composed--as she was--and said, "Yeah?"
And she said, "My cardiologist is retiring."
And I said, "Oh, that's too bad," while I envisioned holding her by the neck and shaking her.
Why does she do this? We all know them--these people who like to present the mildest news in the most alarming, unsettling way.
So, we go on with the conversation without me doing her any bodily harm (which, of course, would defeat the purpose anyway, as my consternation is caused by the fact that I don't want any harm to come to her). Mom tells how she told her 70-year-old doctor that he is too young to retire, and that she needs to have someone as good as him looking after her. He tells her that she is going to get someone good. That he was very careful in picking his replacement, as he wants nothing but the best for his patients.
My sister-in-law says, "What's the new cardiologist's name?"
Mom says, "Something unpronounceable." Now, this is really saying something, given that her current cardiologist's name is Dr. Myrwood C. Besozzi.
All of which brings me to the real point of my post today. Who names a kid Myrwood? Why would you do that to a little baby who has his whole life ahead of him?
